How I Want to Go
Neal Learner, October 2022
He wobbled on the risers
My elderly section-mate
We exchanged glances
I observed his coming fate
What’s happening here?
In middle of this song
He’s not looking well
But the show must go on, right?
More wobble, I reach out
But over he falls
The music is stopped
An ambulance called
We carry him off stage
Singers exit too
Let’s pause for a moment
This moment we’ll get through
Then suddenly he awakes
His faint was but brief
The news is announced
To sighs of audience relief
Back on stage we file
The concert resumes
We’re still somewhat shaken
By feelings of averted doom
Yet strangely we’re energized
We soar on the tune
Our voices alive
Our passions consumed
Making music together
This beautiful sound
Nothing compares
It’s a human noise quite profound
I think of what happened
As I’m lost in melodic flow
When it’s my time to die
While singing…is how I want to go
PEACE!
Neal Learner, March 2022
What are these scenes
That flash ‘cross my screen
Destruction, fire and fear
My senses enraged
In this day and age
We still face the tip of a spear
How can it be?
This unleashing of cruelty
Designs of a mad lunatic
Casually he kills
Turning cites to meat mills
Carried out by sniveling bootlicks
CHORUS
Tell me why
Bombs yet fall from skies
When will the gunfire cease?
We’ve come unwound
Families huddle underground
People longing for peace
Forces of hate
Threats to escalate
Launch the unspeakable missile
How it all ends
Of this one man who rends
All that is decent and civil
CHORUS
Fabric that drapes
Us naked apes
Stand apart from those on all fours
But bloodlust we taste
Through our history debased
Once again, men lead us war
CHORUS
Caught in the Moonlight
N. Learner - 2021
Sun shines on my head
I bask in its rays
I start turning red
Still I love those summer days
But when I’m feeling cool
And everything’s all right
I know where I am, baby
I'm caught in the moonlight
Caught in the moonlight where my dreams take flight
A beacon to pull me in the stary night
Where it will take me I only can guess, it’s out of sight
Days are for action
Running on sunbeams
At the beach we are splashin’
With laughter and screams
But when the sun finally sets
And dark fills the skies
That’s when I await
The big moon to rise
Caught in the moonlight where my dreams take flight
A beacon to pull me in the stary night
Where it will take me I only can guess, it’s my delight
Nights are for dreaming
Round campfires with singing
Stars up on high
Chasing fireflies
There’s magic in the moon
When it waxes and wanes, no one’s immune
It pulls in the tide, it has a dark side
Makes ya swoon
You can’t avert your gaze
When you see it pass through every phase
Its power over us, you just can’t fight
Caught in the moonlight
Looking for something new
Under the sun
But over the moon
Up there it’s more fun
My mind starts to wander
Imagination ignites
That’s when I know, baby,
I'm caught in the moonlight
What Was Lost
N. Learner - 2021
I lost a chance
Many years ago
Had a moment in time
But the window closed
What could have been?
I’ll never know
Lost in the past
Lost in the flow
With friends we’d conspire
Sitting ‘round late at night
To take center stage
To bask in the spotlight
Our lives were filled
With beautiful songs
Knew all the words
We sang out strong
With no room for doubt, we’d take on the world
Climb to the top on ambition
We saw the prize, though stars in our eyes
A future as musicians
Then one by one
We left that time and place
Followed down a worn path
We played it safe
The passions dimmed
Became our hobbies
We took on day jobs
The past turned foggy
So, what was lost?
Perhaps my nerve
What was gained?
A life well served
When all is told
It’s a basic truth
What was lost
…our dreams of youth
What is a Word?
N. Learner – 2020
What is a word?
W-o-r-d
Wooo-rrrr-ddd
Palabra
Mot
Wort
Kotoba
Zi
What is a word?
These sounds that emerge
From an orifice
At the center of a round mass
Atop a structure of animated flesh and bone
“Word”
Say it over and over, and it sounds ridiculous
Word, word, word, word…
But add another burst of acoustic energy
With similar inflection and tone
And something magical happens:
Word
Bird
Ah, a rhyme
It tickles the ear in a most delightful way
I heard the bird’s word
From the tree sweetly singing
Its song took me back
To my carefree upbringing
Playing ‘til dinner
In the woods by the river
Feeling the breeze
Through the trees all a quiver
Yes, I heard the bird’s word
Inside me, something stirred
What is a word?
Dogs bark
Wolves howl
Cats meow
Whales sing
Humans write poems
A Ghost Is Following Me
N. Learner - 2020
A ghost is following me
But I’m not scared
He’s not unlike me…
Middle aged, middle soft
We don’t care
I know this ghost
His kind eyes and smile
Once warmed
My heart
His gentle laugh
Calm aura
In the daily storm
Were safe harbor
This ghost and I are not so different
Looking at our lives
And the meaning of it all
But now I’m left with new questions
Why, my friend, did you not call?
Who will bring us tangerines and cherries?
Who will share the stories of the bands that we both knew?
What kind of pain did carry?
Was there something more that we could do?
A ghost is following me
But I’m not scared
He’s not unlike me…
Middle aged, middle soft
We don’t care
I know this ghost
His kind eyes and smile
Once warmed
My heart
I’ll take this ghost
He follows my tracks
Yes, I’ll take this ghost
But what I really want
Is the human back
Little Celebrations
N. Learner – 2018
Big celebrations
Are fine
Weddings, birthdays, graduations
All are genuine
But little celebrations,
Don’t overlook
Those small victories,
In which you partook
You know:
Cashing your pay – yay
Going outside to play – yay
Making it to Friday – yay
Avoiding the cliché – yay
Doctor saying, “you’re okay” – yay
Basking in the sun’s ray – yay
Taking in a cabaret – yay
Drinking cabernet – yay
Riding the railway – yay
Sailors shouting, “anchors away” – yay
Eating lemon sorbet – yay
Not scuffing the parquet – yay
Jumping in a stack of hay – yay
Winning at croquet – yay
Dancing to reggae – yay
Meeting someone named Jose – yay
Riding in a one-horse open sleigh – yay
Sitting on the dock by the bay – yay
Finding lots of words that end with “ay” – cool
So mark your milestones with Champaign toasts
Raise a glass to the best and most
What I find most worthy and great
Are the small moments in life…these I celebrate
Bullies in the School
N. Learner – 2019
There are bullies in the school
Who make up the rules
About what it means
To be cool
From their confident grins
To the tilt of their chins
They know who’s out
And who’s in
They saunter down the hall
Unnaturally tall
Looking down on
The rest of us oddballs
They never feel fright
With a laugh, they’re always right
They play to perfection
Cool kid stereotype
For us insecure souls
Still learning our roles
We see an unattainable goal
‘Cuz I’m zero on the scoreboard
I’m totally awkward
No one tells me,
Baby, you’re adored (besides my parents)
When they pass out the invites
My name’s nowhere in sight
Once again
I’m alone Saturday night
I want to engage
Be more chill, turn the page
But I can’t, and my feelings
Turn to rage
So, I lash out online
Bare my soul, speak my mind
And my words are
Out there to find
Alas, those verbal bombs
Are shared with the moms
Who express alarm, concern
And great qualms
I’m totally ostracized
Forbidden to socialize
With the cool kids, who
Now I despise
But that’s okay…I’m aware
The years pass along
Each day I grow strong
Learn to love who I am,
Carry on
Now, out of my youth
I see clearly the truth
That childhood’s not meant to
Be smooth
Be different, be queer
Be a little bit weird
Be yourself
You’ll have nothing to fear
Through school we must navigate
But eventually we graduate
Don’t let bullies…
Determine your fate
Coat of Dreams
N. Learner – 2018
Wind the bobbin
Thread the needle
Lay the cloth
Across the table
Take this pattern
Pin it tight
Smooth the edges down
Make it fit right
Touch with care
Measure twice
Sew with purpose
Cut precise
Button up against the cold
In this garment you can grow old
Add a scarf around your neck
It’s everything that you’d expect
To keep you warm
Keep you dry
With pockets deep
Where hands reside
It is strong
With sturdy seams
Made to last forever
Your coat of dreams
First Love
N. Learner – 2021
I stand by the wall
Of the junior high dance
Trying to look tall
Cool and advanced
There ‘cross the room
She moves with such grace
I catch a smile on her face
My friends punch my arm
Tell me to move it
Build up some courage
Go out and prove it
I’m not afraid
I’m not a weakling
I can act on my feelings
I take a deep breath
And walk ‘cross the room
Her friends start to giggle
Her cheeks start to bloom
I ask her to dance
My palms start to sweat
To my joy…she says yes
She says yes!
To the dancefloor we go
I take her hand there
The music turns slow
For a moment we stand and stare
Then she grips my arms
I hold her waist
We lock in an awkward embrace
Slowly we sway
To the beat of the song
I pull her in close
My heart beats along
I give her a squeeze
We’re on the same track
To my joy…she squeezes back
She squeezes back!
The dance is a blur
Of music and light
Before I realize
It’s the end of the night
I look in her eyes
She looks deep in mine
We’re reading each other’s minds
Soon we must go
But there’s one more thing
I must let her know
Of what I am feeling
I open my lips
But words can’t say this
To my joy…we kiss
We kiss!
We KISS!
Oh, there’s nothing above
Pure first love
Lessons Learned
N. Learner – 2019
When I was young
I used to be smart
Understood the world
Could play my part…
Son, brother, student, lover,
husband, father, worker, boss
Life was concise
We knew the facts
Knew right and wrong
Virtue from vice…
Health, wellbeing, love, respect,
debauchery, deception, denial, deflect
The path was clear
History on track
Our prospects bright
No looking back
Freedom, democracy, walls coming down
Human rights, technology, a global boomtown
And then things changed
The world fell apart
Foundations cracked
Smashed the apple cart…
Endless war, mass shootings, hatred, blame
Terrorism, global warming, walls going up, shame
Always getting better?
History’s long view?
Always progressing?
This just wasn’t true
I used to be carefree
Now I’m concerned
I so look back on
Lessons learned…
Progress isn’t linear
Things can go bad
Things could be worse
Things have been worse
Things can get better
Things will get better
Hurricane Florence
N. Learner – 2018
Like a giant scoop of whipping cream
Mega clouds swirl around a greedy eye
Dripping wet globs at race-car speeds
This enormous confection of uncertainty
Inches forward to determine our fate
Well coifed men and women move about our screens
Warning all who listen of the coming mess
Millions take heed, move to higher ground
Tough guys ride it out
Muttering to themselves, “it’s never as bad as they say”
Others sweep into frantic action, frantic stores
Rolling through aisles in a giddy dance of disaster
Sedate suburbanites tingle at the possibility of something
Big, bad and dangerous headed their way
Category 4? - Wimpy
Bring on Category 11!
Shelves clear of milk, bread, pasta, wine, batteries, candles,
Water, beer, toilet-paper, canned food, cat food
Dog food, baby food, more wine
Where will you be when the big one hits?
It’s coming, this hurricane with the gentle, granny name Florence
Will we survive? Will our wifi work?
Things Are Breaking
N. Learner – 2021
I walk through the fire
Breathe in the smoke
Trees burn like matches
On hot air I choke
Things are breaking
Down in this world of our making
I walk through the downpour
Swept in the flood
Homes fill with water
I step through the rock and mud
Things are breaking
Down in this world of our making
I look all around me
Past one point five degrees
When all comes crashing down
Where will we flee?
Where is the rain?
Why so much rain?
Can we ever make this
Whole again?
When deep wells run dry
And grain starts to wither
When shorelines go under
And streets turn to rivers
Things are breaking down
In this world of our making
I long for the tall trees
I long for a cool breeze
I long for endless possibilities
I long for tranquility
I once longed for days of
Calm across globe
Now all I long for…
Is hope
Begin Again
N. Learner – May 2019
With coffee strong
I’m primed for progress
I plunge in head-long
Can taste success
From start to end
This task at hand
I will complete
It will be grand
And then I pause – what’s that?
A stomach twitch?
My hunger grows
I’ll make a sandwich
But now I have
A thirst to quench
I’ll drink my soda
On this park bench
This day is long
The shadows grow
Time slips by
Where did it go
Once again
Is it my fate?
To dilly-dally
Procrastinate
My project sits
To my chagrin
I’m left no choice
But to…begin again
Hot and Cold Love Affair
N. Learner – 2019
His breath steams in the driving sleet
Blazing a trail through the snow, he reaches his destination covered in icicles
Inside, a toasty room awaits, illuminated by a crackling fireplace
Rubbing his frozen hands together, he slowly thaws out
A band sizzles on stage, the guitarist playing a smoking solo
Music sparks his interest, but he has other fish to fry
Then he sees her, the fiery woman of his fevered dreams
She runs a finger slowly down the frosty glass
He approaches cautiously, his self-esteem on thin ice
He’s been burnt before by an old flame
Hello, he says with all the coolness he can muster
Hello, she responded with a sultry purr
Chills run down his spine, his chest ignites
Is it me, or is it hot in here? he asks
She gives him an icy stare
He freezes in place
Then she smiles warmly, her eyes alit
Yes, I’m about ready to melt
Let’s skate out of here, shall we?, he proposes
Yes, let’s blow this popsicle stand, she responds
The woman slides into her coat, a layer of body heat to rebuff the wind
The man puts on his hat, a layer of wool to foil the nippy blast ahead
Arm in arm, they exit into the bitter night air
And enter into a torrid love affair
Perfect Day in Del Ray
N. Learner – 2016
Got out of bed this morning
The sun is shining bright
Drank down two cups of coffee
Oh yeah, I’m feeling right
I know just what I’m going to do
Take a stroll down the Avenue
I head out down the sidewalk
I see the flowers grow
I pass the morning joggers
I pass the bungalows
The picture here is all complete
Walking down the back streets
All is good – in my neighborhood
It’s a perfect day – in Del Ray
I make it to Mt. Vernon
The shops are trim and spruce
The scene is like a postcard
Check out our red caboose
We used to be a dusty old railway yard
Now we’re on the vanguard
All is good – in my neighborhood
It’s a perfect day – in Del Ray
Kids and dogs and frozen custard
Yoga moms and guys with long beards
Wine and cheese, and gourmet Tex-Mex
Our street fairs, they the best
Farmers market, fancy hats
Recycling our table scraps
The pharmacists
They even know your name
Our music school and coffee shops
The hardware store is down the block
The sidewalk café’s always filled
We even have an artist guild
So come on down and make it fast
Our neighborhood is unsurpassed
You’re welcome here to spend some time
Hurry now, come on don’t delay…
Del Ray
It feels just like the old days
Where neighbors say hello
Kids walk and bike to school
Barbeque on patios
We’re a village outside a town, outside
A big city – we’re very pretty
All is good – in my neighborhood
It’s a perfect day – in Del Ray
Spiders
N. Learner – 2018
The tingles you send down my spine
Darting across the floor on eight hairy legs
Almost as unnatural as slithering along without any
Strange creature, you
Still, I do admire your construction skills
A home of fine silk
Stronger than iron
Glistening in the morning dew
Geometrically balanced
Outdoors, you’re okay
Eating mosquitoes, flies and other unsavories
Inside, it’s another story
Let’s agree to some ground rules
I won’t squash you into a sticky blob
If you don’t climb into my bed
And bite me on the neck
So go about your arachnid ways
Spinning your web
Viewing the world through eight beady eyes
Just do it in your world, please
Spiders!